I Am Angry. Is That Okay?
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I Am Angry. Is That Okay?
Parshat Pinhas, 5780
Saturday, July 11, 2020
פרשת פנחס, תש״פ
Parshat Pinhas, 5780
by Rabbi Sydni
Saturday, July 11th, 2020
I Am Angry. Is That Okay?
I certainly still possess my fair share of naivete, but when I was younger and even more naive, I believed that anger was a useless emotion; its only purpose was to spark violence and hurt. And yet, as I followed the news, as I experienced adult relationships, and as I had daily discussions with an often infuriating God, I realized that anger was a natural and sometimes even productive state of being. Anger can inspire us to address a situation; it can even alert us to that gut feeling that something is wrong in the first place. When I express my anger, I show others that I am offended, or that I need help, or that they should be angry too. Lately, between caustic political and social arguments displayed on every aspect of news and social media and my own frustration with lifestyle changes over the past few months, I have been experiencing anger much more often than I feel comfortable with. And I keep reminding myself both that that anger is okay and that it must have its limits. As God has taught me throughout the texts I study each day, anger is onlyworthwhile if mercy and kindness both inspire and overpower it.
The God of our Torah expresses a whole lot of anger, especially throughout our current book of Numbers. God has expressed anger at the people Israel through snakes, fire, and most recently, plague. And yet, I believe that God knows that even God’s own anger goes too far at times. In the very first two verses of our Parashah, God decrees God’s thanks to Pinhas who השיב את חמתי מעל בני ישראל - who turned my anger away from the children of Israel (25:10-11). In the previous chapter, God had set a plague among the Israelites on account of Israelite men sleeping with Midianite women and being seduced into idol worship. To assuage God’s anger, Pinhas rams a spear into the bellies of an Israelite man and his Midianite consort, and the plague is stopped. As our parashah begins, God is jarred into recognition that his rage could have destroyed the entire nation of Israel if it had gone unchecked. He shows his gratitude to Pinchas, but at the same time, recognizes that Pinchas’ action exhibited anger in too dangerous a fashion, as well. The unlikely hero’s reward from God is a brit shalom, a covenant of peace, which the 19th century Lithuanian rabbi known as the Netziv writes is a blessing for inner peace, a covenant that ties Pinchas to a future without a quick temper or excessive emotional unrest. Anger, for God and for Pinchas, can be effective but disastrous without forethought in action and without an aim towards real peace.
Now is a time of frustration for so many of us, and now is the time to figure out how to channel that. For some, we must go for a run or use that punching bag or go outside and meditate for a few minutes before we can express our feelings in ways that are fully productive. For others of us, it is helpful to write down the words we want to use to speak or write our anger before we send it out to an individual or to the world. And once we are ready to express ourselves, we must take into account whether that expression might hurt the other more than it would help ourselves. We must use our anger sparingly enough for it to have the necessary bite; our compassion must override our rage. And ideally, when we do express rage, whether in word or in action, that expression should be motivated by compassion.
Using and channeling anger is so difficult that every day, the Rabbis teach in the Talmud Bavli, Masekhet Brakhot, God says the following prayer:
May it be My will that My mercy will overcome My anger.
And may My mercy prevail over My other attributes.
And may I conduct myself towards my children with the
attribute of mercy,
And may I enter before them beyond the letter of the law.
God must make the effort every day not to dispel God’s anger, but rather, to keep it in check. Thus far, as God voices such a prayer every day, even God has not yet achieved that perfect balance of mercy and anger. May we act in God’s image, in our quest to use our own anger towards self-exploration and communal good, and let us make use of God’s prayer for ourselves...
May it be God’s will that our mercy will overcome our anger.
May we avoid violence and embrace dialogue.
And may our mercy prevail over our other attributes
May we decide whether the situation calls for frustration or acceptance, for self-directed anger or for outward-directed compassion.
And may we conduct ourselves towards every person we meet
with the attribute of mercy,
May we seek the comfort of others in our own pain, without abusing our sources of comfort in the process.
And may we go above and beyond what is expected of us, above and beyondthe letter of the law.
May we embrace our own power to shape and direct the emotions we experience, constantly striving to be better, just as God does the same. Shabbat Shalom.
Tue, October 8 2024
6 Tishrei 5785
Rabbi's Sermons
Bereshit - Genesis
- Parshat Bereshit: Oct. 26, 2019, October 1, 2021, October 2, 2021
- Parshat Noah: Nov. 2, 2019, October 8, 2021, Oct. 29, 2022
- Parshat Lekh-L'kha: Nov. 9, 2019, Oct. 31, 2020, Oct. 31, 2020 - Part 2, Oct. 15, 2021
- Parshat Vayeira: Nov. 16, 2019, Nov. 7, 2020, Nov. 7, 2020 - Part 2, Oct. 22, 2021, Oct. 23, 2021
- Parshat Hayei Sara: Nov. 14, 2020, Oct. 30, 2021
- Parshat Toldot: Nov. 30, 2019, Nov. 21, 2020, Nov. 6, 2021
- Parshat Vayeitzei: Nov. 28, 2020, Nov. 13, 2021
- Parshat Vayishlah: Dec. 14, 2019 , Dec. 5, 2020, November 20, 2021
- Parshat Vayeisheiv: Dec. 12, 2020, Nov. 27, 2021
- Parshat Miketz: Dec. 4, 2021
- Parshat Vayigash: Jan. 4, 2020, Dec. 26, 2020, Dec. 11, 2021
- Parshat Vay'hi: Jan. 11, 2020, Jan. 2, 2021
Shemot-Exodus
- Parshat Sh'mot: Jan. 18, 2020, Jan. 18, 2020 - Part 2, Jan. 9, 2021
- Parshat Va'eira: Jan. 25, 2021
- Parshat Bo: Feb. 1, 2020, Jan. 23, 2021
- Parshat B'shalah: Jan. 30, 2021, Jan. 15, 2022, Feb. 3, 2023, Feb.4, 2023
- Parshat Yitro: Feb. 15, 2020, Feb. 6, 2021, Feb. 6, 2021, Feb. 21, 2022, Feb. 22, 2022
- Parshat Mishpatim: Feb. 22, 2020, Feb. 18, 2023
- Parshat T'rumah: Feb. 29, 2020, Feb. 29, 2020 - Part 2, Feb. 20, 2021, Feb. 4, 2022, Feb. 5, 2022, Feb. 25, 2023
- Parshat T'tzaveh: March 7, 2020, Feb. 27, 2021, Feb. 12, 2022, Feb. 11, 2022
- Parshat Ki Tisa: March 14, 2020, March 6, 2021, February 19, 2022
- Parshot Vayak'heil-P'kudei: March 21, 2020, March 13, 2021, February 26, 2022, March 18, 2023
Vayikra-Leviticus
- Parshat Vayikra: March 20, 2021, March 11, 2022, March 24, 2023, March 25, 2023
- Parshat Tzav: April 4, 2020, March 27, 2021, March 19, 2022
- Parshat Sh'mini: April 18, 2020
- Parshot Tazria-Metzora: April 25, 2020, April 17, 2021, April 2, 2022, April 20, 2024
- Parshot Achrei Mot-Kedoshim: May 2, 2020, April 24, 2021, May 7, 2022, May 3, 2024, May 10, 2024
- Emor: May 9, 2020, May 1, 2021, May 13, 2022, May 14, 2022, May 6, 2023
- Parshot B'har-B'hukotai: May 8, 2019, May 16, 2020, May 7, 2021, May 21, 2022, May 28, 2022, May 24, 2024, May 31, 2024
Bamidbar-Numbers
- Parshat Bamidbar: May 15, 2021, May 20, 2023, June 7, 2024
- Parshat Nasso: June 6, 2020, June 6, 2020 - Part 2, May 22, 2021, June 10, 2022, June 2, 2023, June 14, 2024
- Parshat B'ha'alotcha: June 13, 2020, June 13, 2020 - Part 2, June 9, 2023, June 10, 2023, June 21, 2024
- Parshat Sh'lach: June 20, 2020, June 20, 2020 - Part 2, June 5, 2021, June 28, 2024
- Parshat Korah: June 27, 2020, July 18, 2020, July 24, 2023, July 5, 2024
- Parshot Chukat-Balak: June 26, 2021, July 12, 2024, July 19, 2024
- Parshat Pinchas: July 11, 2020, July 11, 2020 - Part 2, July 2, 2021, July 3, 2021, July 22, 2022, July 23, 2022, July 26, 2024
- Parshot Matot-Masei: July 18, 2020, July 18, 2020 - Part 2, July 10, 2021, July 30, 2022, August 2, 2024
D'varim-Deuteronomy
- Parshat D'varim: July 25, 2020, July 25, 2020 - Part 2, July 17, 2021, August 6, 2022, August 9, 2024
- Parshat Va'et'hanan: Aug. 1, 2020, July 24, 2021, August 12, 2022, August 13, 2022, Aug. 16, 2024
- Parshat Eikev: Aug. 8, 2020, July 31, 2021, August 19, 2022, August 20, 2022
- Parshat Re'eh: August 7, 2021, August 30, 2024
- Parshat Shoftim: September 7, 2019, Aug. 22, 2020, August 14, 2021, August 14, 2021 - Part 2, September 3, 2022, September 6, 2024
- Parshat Ki Teitzei: Aug. 29, 2020, August 20, 2021, September 13, 2024
- Parshat Ki Tavo: Sept. 5, 2020, Sept. 5, 2020 - Part 2, August 28, 2021, Sept. 17, 2022, Sept. 20, 2024
- Parshot Nitzavim-Vayeilech: Sept. 11, 2021, September 24, 2022, Sept. 27,2024
- Parshat Ha'Azinu: Sept. 26, 2020, October 4, 2024
- Parshat Haberakhah
Rosh HaShanah: Sept. 19, 2020, Sept. 19, 2020 - Part 2, Sept. 19, 2020 - Part 3, Sept. 20, 2020, Sept. 7, 2021, Sept. 8, 2021, Sept. 9, 2021, Sept. 26, 2022
Yom Kippur: Sept. 28, 2020, Sept. 16, 2021, October 5, 2022
Sukkot: Oct. 3, 2020 , Sept. 20, 2021
Passover: April 3, 2021, April 23, 2022, April 7, 2023, April 12, 2023 April 27, 2024
Rosh Hodesh: April 22, 2023
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